last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
