He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
so much tequila, so little girl.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
