you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
