i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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