Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
