he shaved USA in his pubs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
