I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
