I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
