i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
its liver damage thursday
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
