wrigley field is MILF paradise
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
