420 ftw
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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