he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
