Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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