Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
