can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize