A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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