dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
