if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
