Jerry, you need to find god
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
