We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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