Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
