They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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