i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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