do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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