FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize