I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
