This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
