So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize