Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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