it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
