When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
