It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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