Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
