I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
