They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize