what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
