I'm gonna have a badass scar
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
