hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
