guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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