Fuck appropriateness.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
