whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
