But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
