I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
