final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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