i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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