So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
