WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
