I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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