:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
