actually, I'm a sock model
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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