If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
