SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We're too hungover to prance.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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