Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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