somebody snuck up and got me drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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