well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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