He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
