Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
